one two three fourrrrnication!
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Dignity is for republicans.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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