Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
