Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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