I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
