school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
