How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
