The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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