I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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