it was like eating out sand paper
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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