Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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