Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
