The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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