"it" just moved
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Randomize
