i was born a porn star she said
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize