My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
