I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
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