I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
