So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Help. Why am I so naked?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
