shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
