It's like God shit irony all over that family
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
