Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
