Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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