Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
