What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I should be sponsored by Trojan
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
