My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize