my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
