I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
