Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
