i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize