spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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