My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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