Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize