I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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