i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
