All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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