why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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