if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
