He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
