enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
