Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
