So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
