How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
