Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize