This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize