do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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