Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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