so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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