Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
When did angry sex become our thing?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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