..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
