Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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