Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
