my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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