I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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