Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
