Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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