she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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