So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
