I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
