Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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