So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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