I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
