Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
