so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
