I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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