I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I will be naked everywhere
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
