these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
