I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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