new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
