loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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