I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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