just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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