STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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