the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
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