that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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